On Not Reading and Not Giving a Damn

I didn’t pick a book up for the best part of 4 months towards the end of 2016. For a while, that really irritated me, it aggravated me, but then I realised that the time I used to spent reading was being filled with memories (and some really bad TV) and I was happy for the first time in a long time.

The back quarter of 2016 was hard for me. I put not reading, not having the motivation to, entirely down to the fact that after nearly 8 years struggling with depression I was put on antidepressants. It was a turbulent time, my attention span dropped and every day was spent just focusing on getting to the next one. Not many people realise how bad my depression got, even my own family don’t know the true extent of it. And while when I had bad periods before I would lose myself in a book, I chose to lose myself in other things this time – time with friends, positive experiences, making plans. I threw myself in to living and I really can’t feel anything but happy that I have friends and family that supported me through some of the toughest months of my life. They dragged me out of bed, they made me go out and live my life. Gave me reason to keep going.

Looking forward, I’m positive. I have a good job, with great people. I have amazing friends. And I’m excited to start reading again. I can’t wait to see what this year has in store for me.

So Happy 2017 folks.

Normal, bookish service will return shortly.

2 thoughts on “On Not Reading and Not Giving a Damn

  1. Christie says:

    I feel ya. When I was first diagnosed with depression and was adjusting to antidepressants, I couldn’t read at all. I regularly found myself crying in frustration at the fact that I just wanted to read but…couldn’t. Four years later and my reading game is stronger than ever – it just takes time (and having a job where I’m constantly surrounded by amazing books and even more amazing people who love books as much as I do hasn’t hurt either). My main advice would be to avoid forcing yourself into reading anything if you’re not feeling it – your reading mojo will come back sooner or later!

    • ashleighmuses says:

      I think I needed the break more than anything. I’m finally feeling like I’m on a more even keel and I’m also WANTING to read – which is something I haven’t wanted to do for a long time now. I’m excited to see what 2017 has in store for me on both a bookish and a personal front! 😀

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